The social media train. Climb aboard or get run over. Choo choo. Ten ways to use social media to get job. Most important is Step 6: Follow the right folks. Don’t follow this guy. Real jackass.

Speaking of social media, are you connected to the Minimum Rage via social networks? Why not? Slacker.

Connect on Facebook orbecome a fan.

Follow the Minimum Rage on Twitter

Twittering will get you fired. Blah Blah. Do we need to cover this?

Ingels thought it was a funny anecdote to tell to his few-dozen Twitter followers. “Jane Adams, star of HBO series ‘Hung’ skipped out on a $13.44 check. Her agent called and payed the following day. NO TIP!!!” he Twittered.

Oh my God, that’s sooooo funny! Such awesome Twitter fodder. I bet all eleven of your followers RTed the FUNK out of that gem.

This should be the rule with Twitter; put it all down in your “What are you doing” box. Then really think about the ramifications. Really squeeze every thought out of that pea brain. Delete it. It’s probably fucking boring anyway.

Maybe no tip because you were an awful career waiter who took forty minutes to get her food because you were too busy Twittering all damn shift.

Waiter gets canned after Twittering about ‘Hung’ actress Jane Adams (Brand X)
How To Get Fired For Twittering: Waiter Edition (Gawker)

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The boss is your friend. At least he or she tries. Not just in the office but on social networking websites like Twitter, Facebook and that MySpace account you haven’t touched in months (nice background Twilight fan). It’s a problem. Eventually, you’ll want to vent about work, complain about coworkers, or even networking for a new job.

How can you when the boss is watching? He is like a spy in the house of you! How did he know I loved Cocoa Puffs and Quik for breakfast? Oh Twitter, you’ve screwed me again!

You thought better of it to accept the request and now you regret the decision but it’s not as easy as unfriending or blocking. Do they genuinely care about your life outside the office or are they just checking up on you during and after work hours? He or she will notice if you disappear from their friend/follow list and it could cause unnecessary friction in the office. No, that is STATIC not friction. If you want that to stop, quit dragging your feet or touching metal.

It’s time to take drastic measures.

Here are four solutions to getting the boss off your social networking back:

1) Change your profile picture- Sounds odd but many people browse social networking websites based on profile pictures. They spot a face they recognize (in this case, the face they see in the office every freaking day) and immediately check that update. If you’ve had the same photo for a long period of time, it might be time to change it to something new, maybe even not your face. (Shame–you’re damn handsome.) Make the picture it a fictional character, your pet, or even cartoon yourself. I’ll draw you. Let me find my compass.

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Twitter. Not going away. Just dying a slow death thanks to the over-saturation of companies hoping to personalize their brand and give the appearance of giving a shit about the customer.

Proof? Books tell me so. More proof? Companies hiring workers JUST to Tweet.

Multinational corporations, such as Ford Motor Co. and Coca-Cola Co., are beginning to use social media to increase positive sentiment, build customer rapport and correct misinformation, says Adam Brown, Coca-Cola’s Atlanta-based director of social media.

Waste. I’m not going to buy a Ford because I’m following someone they hired to boast about their cars being reliable and I’m not going to switch to Diet Coke because someone cashing checks from the company retweets my blog about holding in farts in the office. I wouldn’t buy a product even if my closest friends told me it’s the greatest thing since the dishwasher safe Fleshlight.

I would, however, take some corporate green to PRETEND I’d rely on Chevy or chugged Dasani all day. It’s the American way.

Sing it Johnny Cougar! “THIIISSS ISS OURRRR COUNNTTRRYYYY”