This scenario plays out every time the wife and I go food shopping. For this example, we’ll use peanut butter. Delicious, chunky peanut butter. Note the word chunky.

Wife: Get a jar of peanut butter
Rager: Fine (reaches for a jar of Skippy Chunky)
Wife: Not that.
Rager: Why?
Wife: I don’t buy Skippy, I like Jiff. And not chunky, I don’t like chunky.
Rager: I do like chunky and I’ve always had Skippy.
Wife: Well I’ve always had Jiff.

And scene. Thank you. Thank you. Bows all around. Hand for the wife.

Ignoring the chunky option, if someone handed me a PB&J that wasn’t made with Skippy could I tell the difference? Probably not. Then why does it matter if it’s Skippy or Jiff?

Easy. That’s what I’ve always bought. It’s what my mom always bought. We were a Skippy family. I want my family to be a Skippy family. My wife wants a brood of Jiffs. You could label it a simple case of brand loyalty but is it really that black and white?

It’s called Stickiness (not a pun in this case) and it’s one of the core traits of decision making described in the new book You Are What You Choose: The Habits of Mind that Really Determine How We Make Decisions.

Scott de Marchi and James T. Hamilton present a new theory about how we decide, based on an extensive survey of more than thirty thousand subjects. They explain that people exhibit six core traits that shape every decision they make. From huge life changing decisions to something as simple as what to have for lunch.

People tend to go with “the usual” way of deciding whenever there’s a trade-off between current and future happiness. For me, the usual is Skippy. For the wife it’s Jiff.

I wasn’t aware of all the intangibles that went into something as simple as picking a peanut butter until I read the book. Sure I’ve read books and studies about how we make choices but this is the first that explains the why.

Here is a decision that doesn’t need a how or why; all this yapping about peanut butter is making me hungry and I’m going to make a PB&J sandwich.

We use Jiff. I wonder where angry wives fall into the decision making process?

Click here to check out You Are What You Choose: The Habits of Mind that Really Determine How We Make Decisions