The boss is your friend. At least he or she tries. Not just in the office but on social networking websites like Twitter, Facebook and that MySpace account you haven’t touched in months (nice background Twilight fan). It’s a problem. Eventually, you’ll want to vent about work, complain about coworkers, or even networking for a new job.

How can you when the boss is watching? He is like a spy in the house of you! How did he know I loved Cocoa Puffs and Quik for breakfast? Oh Twitter, you’ve screwed me again!

You thought better of it to accept the request and now you regret the decision but it’s not as easy as unfriending or blocking. Do they genuinely care about your life outside the office or are they just checking up on you during and after work hours? He or she will notice if you disappear from their friend/follow list and it could cause unnecessary friction in the office. No, that is STATIC not friction. If you want that to stop, quit dragging your feet or touching metal.

It’s time to take drastic measures.

Here are four solutions to getting the boss off your social networking back:

1) Change your profile picture- Sounds odd but many people browse social networking websites based on profile pictures. They spot a face they recognize (in this case, the face they see in the office every freaking day) and immediately check that update. If you’ve had the same photo for a long period of time, it might be time to change it to something new, maybe even not your face. (Shame–you’re damn handsome.) Make the picture it a fictional character, your pet, or even cartoon yourself. I’ll draw you. Let me find my compass.

1) Unfriend everyone in the office- Remember in school when you didn’t want to hang out with a certain person, so you disassociated yourself from him/her and everyone around them. That’s why you had no friends Mr. “Friday night is solo Jenga Night”. Sad. Anyway, same principle applies here. If you are friends with boss you probably have connections to Sally in accounting or Fat Paul that sits with you at lunch. Drop them all. Explain to the peeps close to you the motive and they will be back on your A list in a week or so. If the boss notices and asks just say you didn’t think it was a good idea to mix business with social and unfriended everyone.

3) Start from scratch- The option to get a new account is always possible. First, use a new email to sign up, one that the boss doesn’t know so he or she can’t search you out. Jot down all the friends and people you want to reconnect with and start a new profile. You can even do it under a fake name. Something cool like Dr. Fester Boonwhistle or Ace Powerman. Nice to meet you Ace, I’m Steve. Steve Massivememberinmycrotch.

4) Quit- Not your job. Turd. Social networking. Is it really worth the time and effort? Do you check it frequently and use it to genuinely keep up with friends and family or do you have it just to be like everyone else and occasionally snoop on ex’s and other randoms? If it is really important and basically the air you breath then just bite the bullet and don’t say anything stupid the company could use against you. And for the last time I don’t want to be in your stupid mafia.

Does your boss follow you on a social networking website? Does he follow you to the restroom? Both are issues. How do you deal?

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