Boomers looking for jobs need to start dressing like it’s 2009.

Now, unexpectedly unemployed Baby Boomers are retooling themselves to compete with younger job candidates, from buying new clothes to crafting an “ageless resume” that omits pesky dates.

The other day, I’m in Hot Topic, looking for a witty, old school Nintendo T-shirt and this old man grabs the last extra small and I’m like “Yo, Pops! Go back to Tommy Bahama where you belong!” and he was all “I’ve got underwear old than you” and I’m all “I know I can smell it”. Classic burn.

It’s not a bad idea, people updating their look, not just for perspective jobs but just to feel better about the fact they are unemployed. This part has always puzzled me though; while I do blame Sally for her feathered Cinderella hairdo I’ve got to lay half the blame on the JC Penny boutique for allowing that hot mess to walk out it’s doors. Also, for still knowing HOW to cut hair like that.

So, old people are dressing younger and hitting the gym?

“This is the time in your life you actually have time to hit the gym,” she says. “Looking for a job is nothing like when they looked for a job 10 years ago or 20 years ago. It’s really shocking to go out into that world.”

The last thing you want is to lose out a sweet gig because of your deflated lats. Hundred pound shrugs until it hurts to even pull up your pleated shorts and black socks.