October 16th is Bosses Day. If Valentines Day is considered a corporate holiday created to get card and gift companies fatter than the average ass after a box of Brach’s chocolates, then Bosses Day is all those things plus a stapler to the stomach of the working grunt.

It is so made up people can’t even agree on the spelling. Boss’s Day. Bosses Day. How about we spell it “pain in the ass who really shouldn’t be in a position of power let alone have a day to celebrating his monumental failures as a leader or decision maker.” That would be a hell of Hallmark greeting.

This is his or her day. So let’s celebrate. Let’s do something to show the boss how we feel about the job they are doing in the office.

Here are five simple ways to stick it to the Boss

1) Half-empty gift card- You’ve probably got some shoved in your desk or in a drawer at home. It’s got about $.30 on it but you can’t throw it away. You’ll use it one day you just feel dumb giving it to the cashier for such a small amount. Give it to the boss. Try and get the actual envelope that goes with the card to make it super official. Best part? The gag embarrasses the hell out of them in front of a store full of people. If the boss calls you out about the card tell him it’s the tough economy. Maybe there will be more next year.

2) Write cheater on his car- Is he/she cheating? Probably, I mean who isn’t, but it will certainly cause a stir in the office. Pick something that won’t leave a mark like lipstick or a key. Optimal spot is the hood but then people on the road can’t enjoy. On either side of the car is fine. Passenger side works best because he/she might not see it for days. Last option is to dicktop the car. You might not have the drawing chops to pull it off though.

3) Sign the boss up for random newsletters- Friends of Fat Kids. NAMBLA. Oprah’s Colonic of the Month Club. Anything and everything. One after the other. Sure s/he has to confirm them to get the newsletters delivered but getting all the initial emails is just as funny as the NAMBLA newsletter itself. And trust me, that shit is HYSTERICAL!

4) Turn off the monitor- Ever see someone struggle with their computer for hours, only to realize the monitor was off? It’s so much fun for everyone with a half a brain that knows something about computers. You’re boss has neither. Same person that thought the disc drive was a cup holder. Also fun, if you’ve got the time, switch some of the keys on the keyboard. They won’t figure that out until the holidays.

5) Take bites out of his lunch- One bite out of everything. Sip from his soda. Ah, too easy. Take the whole lunch and throw it out. Not just today. Every couple days. For fun. For spite. Just because there is such a thing as Bosses Day.

Got any other ideas? Let’s hear them.