Some people want you to be as lazy as possible at work. I’m all for it.

Layoffs and budget cuts may make you anxious, but that’s no reason to triple your workload. In fact, there are many ways to look as though you’re working hard when you’re hardly working, says business humorist Stanley Bing.

The article is a cheap plug for a book titled How to Relax Without Getting the Axe: A Survival Guide to the New Workplace which at one point I believe was under the working title of “This blogger’s life, stolen for print and profit”. Fine, the new title is catchier.

Here is a suggestion from Mr. Bing:

Look into corporate programs involving mentoring, philanthropy, community-based activity and social activism. It can be a pleasant alternative to actual work.

So instead of doing actual work that pays a salary, find ADDITIONAL WORK that doesn’t pay squat?

Can anyone can get a book deal these day?

Click here to get a copy of How to Relax Without Getting the Axe: A Survival Guide to the New Workplace.

Relax Without Getting the Ax; Fewer Turkey Naps (New York Times)

The office coffee mug. Holder of lukewarm, dollar-store, office-brewed coffee and dirtier than the new girl in accounting. It would be healthier to drink from the toilet. Get your head out of the bowl, I was kidding.

How about just drinking from a coffee mug that looks like a toilet?

This silly toilet-shaped mug holds up to 12oz of your favorite hot beverage and will make your co-workers do a double take. The hand painted Toilet Mug makes a great gag gift for any coffee or tea lover, and will gross out anyone who has a weak stomach. For extra laughs, fill the toilet mug with hot cocoa and marshmallows and serve it to your Grandpa. Put unwrapped tootsie rolls in it and watch your dinner guests scratch their heads in disbelief! Serve the kids cereal in it for before school laughs, or fill it with a hot fudge sundae the possibilities are hilarious!

Wow. Someone in the copy department has a SERIOUS poop fetish. I know the fetish has an actual technical name but there are just some things that don’t need Googling.

Thanks to the gents at Tasty Booze for bringing this to our attention. Pervs.

Let me get my paintbrushes and paint the picture….

Business dinner. You’re about to seal the deal. This account is yours to lose. You just high-fived your peesh with both thighs. Score. You reach into your back pocket to grab the AMEX and put this grub and vino on a charge. That’s when the entire table notices it…

Bacon Wallet

“Oh this?” You say, smiling, flipping it front and back. “It’s a bacon wallet. It proves I can bring home the bacon AND put it in a wallet.”

Good job. Months of repeating that in the mirror have paid off.

You actually didn’t have the deal before. Now you do. Thanks Bacon Wallet.

Oh and that cute waitress. She noticed the wallet and the wad of George Washington’s crunched inside.  She wants to give the little guy a high five as well.

Thank god you didn’t settle of Toast Wallet

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